Aftermath
by Fayore
Summary: Yami's thoughts after the disastrous duel with Raphael (Doom Organisation season). One-shot. *contains spoilers


Disclaimer: Yu-Gi-Oh doesn't belong to me. It belongs to Takahashi Kazuki, although I'm sure you already knew that.

This is written in first person POV – Yami's.

Notes: There is a big, huge, major plot spoiler (heck, this whole thing IS a spoiler) in this. If you don't know who Raphael, Almelda, Varon, and Dartz are (although they probably will not be mentioned; the names are just a test to see whether you've seen stuff from the Doom Organisation season, or if you've already spoiled yourself), then read on, knowing that you're running smack dab into a spoiler. 

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_Good bye, mou hitori no boku…_

Was it my fault? Could I blame it on that accursed card? The accursed card that destroyed my logic, forced me to adopt horrendous dueling tactics, caused Timaeus to disown me? That which ultimately caused me to lose the duel? Could I blame it on Raphael; on the Doom Organisation? Could I...? Raphael, who played the card which forced me to take the Curse from his hand, and the Doom Organisation for dragging me into this duel in the first place...?  

_Stop! You promised her! That we'd protect the Duel Monsters!_

No... It was my fault. Everything was my fault. I ignored my aibou... Ignored everything we stood for. Ignored the promise we made to the Black Magician Girl, the promise that we'd make everything right again. I broke our promise. I used the demonic Seal of Oracle Curse card... Then I sacrificed her... and many others... Kuriboh, Berformet, Black Magician... And the sacred dragon, one of the three guardians of the Duel Monsters, and their world... left me. Timaeus... he just... left. My salvation abandoned me, sensing the growing darkness within my heart. 

I know that he will not mine to command again.

_Mou hitori no boku! Can't you hear me!?_

So... I lost the duel. I dueled poorly, consumed with the desire to win. And since this was a Cursed duel, Cursed because of me, the loser's life was forfeit. Why was my soul not taken? Why was I spared, when I clearly did not deserve to be? Aibou... I wish you could tell me... But you can't, can you?

Why did I use the Seal of Oracle Curse? Why did I use it, and turn the duel into a game of evils? When I knew full well what the consequences would be, why? Why did I use it, even when I told aibou that I would not? Even if this was my duel... which it was not, for it was a duel belonging to us both, why did I disregard all of your advice, aibou?  ... In my heart, I know why. I was prideful, foolish. I thought we could win if I used that card...

How could I fall into that painfully obvious trap?

I deserve to die.

I don't know if I could ever duel again. If I would ever duel again... if the opportunity arose, would I? To face rejection from my beloved monsters... could I handle that if it happened? Black Magician Girl, Mana... Would you still trust me? Would you continue to fight for me, although I had betrayed you, among others? If you abandoned me, could I still duel? For aibou, perhaps I could. But he's not here... Because of me... Because I failed... I hate you, aibou. For making me feel this way. Making me miss you; wishing you would talk to me, so I could hear your voice... How could you...? Damn you for leaving.

_No! Please, stop! Don't do it! Mou hitori no boku!!!_

... 

I'm sorry. I don't hate you. I hate myself. ...I killed you.

Instead of mine, your soul, your pure, innocent soul... it was torn away. Lost to me. Lost to your friends. And it's my fault. Because of my foolish, rash decision to use the Curse… I didn't listen to you. You told me, many times over, not to use the accursed card, and I rebuked you; told you that it was my duel. Rebuked you when all you did was to give me valid advice that I should have paid heed to. But I did not. And you paid the price, although I should've been taken. They took your soul... when you didn't deserve to leave at all. I'm so sorry... aibou.

If we met again, in another time, and place... would you recognize me? If you did... could you forgive me? Would you? I shouldn't be asking this; I know I don't deserve to... But still... If there is a small chance of receiving forgiveness, I will try to achieve it. I shouldn't though. You must hate me.

I have done many wrongs today... I wish I could start the day over. But I know that that's impossible. What was done was done, and I cannot change fate. Although I wish I could. ...I wish for many things... yet I know I will never have them granted. 

I lost you... And I can't even cry... That is my sin...

...

I see a light shining. Is it you? Our friends? Both? I cannot tell which it is, but I know it will guide me in your absence. I will search for you, even if it takes a millennia. I won't stop until I find you and destroy the Doom Organisation, I promise you this. I intend to keep this promise. I won't stop searching... Because I love you. Even if you will never accept me again... But... Tell me, aibou. ... For this, I know you can... Is this... Is this the last goodbye? ...Thank you. I knew that this couldn't be it. Not yet.

_Don't worry. I still trust you, mou hitori no boku…_

I will find you. ...Watashi wa yakusoku suru. 

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There. The end. This was filled with mild angst (I don't know why I even attempted it, I can't write very well... -.-; ), Yami being sad, and spoilerness. Oh, and pointless fluff and general boringness. Heck, I'm surprised that you actually made it all the way down here.

The comment near the end, "Because I love you," may be taken as shounen ai, or just a brotherly love-thing. Which ever you prefer. 

(I lean more towards the shounen-ai thing, but I still think that Yami x Seto is better than YY/Y. Ah, well. … I'm probably gonna get at least one bad remark for that comment...)

I will not ask you to review (contrary to most authors ^_^; ), because although this was more or less my first major attempt at a written piece of work that's not for school (it's not like I try there either… Bad me!), I know this doesn't deserve any. 

I know, people tell me that I'm too critical of myself, and/or my work. 

So?

...Jaa mata. 


End file.
